For many, the holiday season is a time of family reunions and tradition. However, for actor Nico Tortorella and entrepreneur Bethany Meyers, the upcoming holidays carry a different tone: one of exclusion and tension.
After 11 years together, the couple has been vocal about their polyamorous lifestyle, a decision that has reportedly led to them being unwelcome at certain family celebrations—specifically within Meyers’ family.
The Conflict Between Identity and Tradition
The friction stems from the couple’s decision to live openly about their non-traditional relationship structure. In a recent interview with People, Tortorella noted that the intense public attention surrounding their relationship has exacerbated existing tensions.
“Bethany and I are not necessarily, completely welcome in her family celebrations this year,” Tortorella shared, citing recent comments and the sensitivity of their lifestyle.
This situation highlights a broader social trend: as more individuals move away from monogamous norms, the “clash of values” between progressive lifestyles and traditional family structures becomes more pronounced. For many in non-traditional relationships, the price of authenticity is often a loss of familial connection.
Defining Their Relationship
The couple’s openness isn’t just about the number of partners, but also about how they define their identities and emotional connections:
- Sexual Identity: Tortorella identifies as pansexual, attracted to people regardless of gender, while Meyers identifies as gay.
- Emotional Boundaries: While both engage in polyamory, their approaches differ. Meyers expressed comfort with casual connections, whereas Tortorella emphasizes energetic and emotional connection as a prerequisite for intimacy.
- Challenging the “One” Narrative: Meyers has noted that society—particularly for women—is conditioned to search for a single “Prince Charming.” She argues that the concept of having a stable, primary partner while maintaining other connections is often viewed as “too messy” by those adhering to traditional romantic scripts.
The Social Impact of Non-Traditional Living
Despite the personal cost of being sidelined by family, the couple remains firm in their choice. Tortorella pointed out that their experience is not isolated, noting that millions of people in non-monogamous relationships face similar social ostracization.
By speaking out, the couple aims to shine a light on the systemic “cutting off” of family members who do not conform to conventional relationship models.
Looking Ahead
Rather than traditional holiday gatherings, the couple plans to spend Thanksgiving in Chicago before traveling to Peru for an ayahuasca ceremony—a practice often used for spiritual and psychological exploration.
Conclusion
Nico Tortorella and Bethany Meyers’ experience underscores the growing tension between modern identity politics and traditional family values. Their story reflects a larger struggle for acceptance among those choosing to redefine the boundaries of intimacy and partnership.
